{"id":151,"date":"2012-09-21T22:20:49","date_gmt":"2012-09-22T05:20:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/?p=151"},"modified":"2013-01-29T20:48:56","modified_gmt":"2013-01-30T04:48:56","slug":"when-life-gives-you-turds-dont-try-to-make-lemonade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/?p=151","title":{"rendered":"when life gives you turds, don&#8217;t try to make lemonade"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>secret mottoes? okay, i do have one.<\/p>\n<p>here&#8217;s something i learned in the usual way (the hard one): <em><strong>when life gives you turds, don&#8217;t try to make lemonade<\/strong>.<\/em> you know? sometimes looking on the bright side of things, or being super clever, or turning your frown upside down, etc., doesn&#8217;t do you any good. you cannot make a refreshing summer beverage out of poo.<\/p>\n<p>when life gives you turds, don&#8217;t pick them up. if you have to pick them up for some reason, <strong>do not squeeze<\/strong> them.<\/p>\n<p>you&#8217;re welcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>secret mottoes? okay, i do have one. here&#8217;s something i learned in the usual way (the hard one): when life gives you turds, don&#8217;t try to make lemonade. you know? sometimes looking on the bright side of things, or being super clever, or turning your frown upside down, etc., doesn&#8217;t do you any good. you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4FBNg-2r","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.haleyisleib.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}